Lou Ellen Blackstone - The Torch Bearer
by Lampyridae92
Summary: Three small chapters about Lou Ellen's struggles to fill Alabaster's shoes after the battle of Manhattan. I wrote this on my cellphone while traveling at night, so I appologize for any spelling mistakes and things that might not fit the book. There are three small chapters, inspired by three songs.
1. Champion

_I'm calling you from the future_

_To let you know we've made a mistake_

_There's a fog from the past that's giving me, giving me such a headache_

_-Fall Out Boy_

"Will! Here!"

The voice was far away, like she was under water. It frightened her. Voices shouldn't be dimmed like that. They shouldn't come from people buried under hills of stone and bricks or people who were being swallowed by waves of water from a river.

"Over here! Help!"

Help. Help them. She had screamed it, wailing in terror and tears. Blood on her hands. Blood on her armor. Blood in her face, in her mouth. She could still taste it and smell it. Warm and metallic.

Wait, that wasn't a memory, was it?

"What happened? Who is she?"

"Fuck, Will, I just. I was just blowing up some stuff, I was thinking I'd block the street, right, and fuck. Will, fuck, I didn't know she was there. She was hiding."

Was that blood running down her face? Her head was swimming and she lost all sense of direction. Then, she felt a pressure along her whole body. The ground? A bench?

"Cecil, she is not one of ours."

"Sure she is! She's human, ain't she. Didn't you take some hypocrite oath? Help everyone, or some shit like that."

There had been skeletons. She had litterally seen the dead walk amongst them. She'd even seen one of them attack a kid, some son of Nike who would just never give up or back down. Too young, they had told him. His sisters had commanded him to go home. Al had even talked to Luke. But he just seemed to find his way back every time. She'd seen him fall to the ground after being smashed in the head. She'd seen him lie still and small on the asphalt. Then some monster had thrown itself towards the body. And she had screamed, because that didn't make sense. That didn't make sense at all. Weren't they on the same side?

"You're right. Of course you're right."

"Damn right I am!"

"Help me cut off her armor. Her head, she'll need stitches."

Her brother, she'd hear him call for her under the piles of a fallen buildning. He'd screamed for several minutes while they dug. And then he'd gone quiet. Silent. Dead silent. One minute he was screaming her name. The next she'd know she would never hear his voice again.

From the other side, she could hear a song. A soft voice and warm hands. The voice got louder and clearer, like she was rising in the water. She wanted to sink back down. She wanted to stay there. If she reached the surface, she would have to go back out on the streets, wouldn't she?

The voice grew clearer. She was just below the surface now. She could feel pain. Pain in her head, in her side.

Good, she thought. If she was to live, at least she wanted it to be painful.

It had been a mistake. She knew that now, as she was rising from the water and the fog. But her mother had spoken to Al, and then he had promised them they would win.

With a gasp, she broke the surface of whatever water she had been drowning in. A rush of air filled her lungs, making her back hurt like she had breathed in cold winter air. But the air here wasn't cold and crisp. It was warm and clammy, carrying the smell of blood and gods knew what else.

"Keep her still. I need to clean and stitch up that headwound." She recognized the voice, calm and tired. The voice of the song that had lured her to the surface.

"What, without anestetics or anything? Fuck, Will, that's cold, man.

This one was different. It was sharp and demanding. She'd listened to it for a long time. It had carried her when she was drowning. Dragged her through the currents. Hadn't she planned to kill it? She couldn't remember why.

"We are running low on supplies. There are worse injuries." A hand touched her cheek. "Hey, can you hear me? Will you try to look at me?"

She opened her eyes, but the world went spinning. All she could see was blue and blond and orange. She groaned.

"I need to clean your wound. You have some debrils in it. It might hurt, but you can take it, can't you? You're a proper champion, right?"

She managed a small nod, but even that made her stomach twist.

"Good. Here we go. Cecil, make sure she lies still."

"Doctor's orders, girl." There was a nervous laughter. Then someone leaned over her, elbows holding her arms pinned against her sides, a chest keeping her from moving her upper body, and hands against either side of her head. It felt suffocating, and parts of her wanted to fight him off, but some other part knew what was going on and teld her to hold still.

She could feel the tweezers poke around in the flesh along the side of her head, just above her ear. She could straight up hear them scratch against her head and even feel things being pulled out. Tears ran down her face and she couldn't help her legs from twitching and kicking. Everything burned every time alcohol flowed over the wound, and she grit her teeth. Still, she knew, this wasn't really painful. This was nothing against being crushed under gravel or drowned in the river or hit in the head and ripped apart.

When the voice was done with the needle, the pressure over her chest let her go, and hands started running over her body.

"She has a lot of fractures. A broken finger, broken ribs. No internal bleeding."

"I think she god hit in the head by something from the explosion. But there was so much blood, I thought… You know, she wasn't even moving."

"Headinjuries bleed a lot. I am more worried about the concussion. She has to stay still. We will keep an eye on her. Perhaps…"

"Tie her up?"

Silence.

"Yeah. You good with knots?"

"Knots, locks, same thing, really. I will make sure she stays in place."

"Good. Hey?" A warm hand on cheek again. "Are you with us? What's your name?"

Her head was still swimming, but she dared open her eyes. Two boys were sitting on the floor by her side. Both were grimy and tired. Their clothes had spots of dried and fresh blood. Her blood? One wore an armor in scratched up bronze.

They had asked her a question. She gave it some thought. Not because she worried about the consequenses of telling them anything, but because the information had to be collected from the depths of the waters she had just surfaced from.

"Lou," she whispered. Her voice was hoarce and unfamiliar, a broken voice of someone much older than herself. "Lou Ellen Blackstone."


	2. Everybody Knows

And everybody knows

that you're in trouble

Everybody knows

what you've been through

From the bloody cross on top of Calvary

To the beach of Malibu

Everybody knows it's coming apart

Take one last look at this Sacred Heart

Before it blows

And everybody knows

-Leonard Cohen

Her very first councelor meeting. Yay, this was going to be fun. Not. She could feel their eyes on her as she entered the game room. The Stoll brothers nodded and smirked. She supposed Cecil had vouched for her. Will and Annabeth both smiled and waved. The guy next to them, Percy, straight up grinned and gave her the thumbs up. But mostly, there were cold stares, and she got the feeling everyone were waiting for her to do something.

Like declare her undying loyalty to Kronos before magically drawing out an AK47 from the pockets of her jeans.

She wondered if this was what stage artists felt right after everyone were done clapping, in that short moment of silence before the show truly started. If she was going to be an entertainer, she decided she was going to be a comedian. When in doubt, be Jack Black.

"You all ready for some ping-pong? Or is that just in case we don't agree on something and need to settle a draw? I warn you, I've got a mean backhand."

Just to illustrate, she called upon the mist to form around her hand, making a racket with a winking smiley face. She swayed it, and a bright pink ping-pong ball formed in thin air, soaring across the table to land perfectly in Chiron's cup of tea.

"Hole in one!" Travis called. "That's it, she's on our team for Capture the Flag."

Chiron waved his hand over his spilled cup, and the ball faded back into invisible mist.

"We do not play games during meetings, Lou Ellen, but I am sure the table will still be standing once we are done."

"Yeah," Katie said, "Unlike that time _someone_ placed fireworks under it on the fourth of July." The way she looked at the Stoll brothers made Lou Ellen pretty sure she knew who Katie was refering too. She chose to take the seat next to the brothers. With her best effort, she put on a smug grin, but she had to use the mist to hide that her hands were trembling slightly.

The Victor twins from the Nike cabin were the last to show up, and they sat down next to her. It removed a bit of the tension she was hosting. Not that she liked the twins much, they were quite a handful, but they had fought together during the war. It was nice to know that she was not the only councelor who had been on Kronos' side. Most of the councelors were trusty old-timers. A month and a half ago, she would have considered them enemies. Now, they were allies. A couple, she even considered friends. Will Solace, ever so friendly and forgiving, and Annabeth Chase, who had designed their cabin. The two were sitting opposite of her, whispering quietly. Will nodded towards an empty seat next to Percy. Annabeth shrugged and shook her head, looking a bit sad, and Will bit his lip. Lou Ellen tried to catch his eyes, but he either didn't notice, or didn't want the attention.

One of the councelors was a previously unclaimed demigods who had slept in the Hermes cabin - Butch Walker, son of Iris. Lou Ellen had to admit, the evergrowing guilt in her stomach grew even heavier everytime she saw him. He was a continuous reminder that not all unclaimed demigods had felt the need to switch sides and fight for Kronos. She sometimes thought he might be thinking the same, because he had a steely look everytime she was around.

The rest of the councelors were newcomers. People who had shown up the past month. If Buch's present made her feel guilty, the newcomers made her feel proud. Like the war hadn't been a complete waste after all. Thanks to her sacrifice, thanks to her siblings, these demigods now had a proper home and a status. She might have lost the war, but she won the battle. With that certainty, she sat up a bit straighter.

Lou Ellen caught up with Will outside the Big House on their way towards the Pavillion for dinner.

"Hey," she huffed. "Are your meetings usually this..." she waved her hand, trying to come up with the right word. Will just shrugged.

"Do you mean messy? Or perhaps loud?"

"Something like that. I thought Clarisse was going to slaughter Travis. And someone needs to teach that Montes guy English, or give the rest of us Portuguese dictionaries, because he sure had a lot to say. " She laughed, but abruptly stopped when Will didn't even crack a smile. "Hey, what's wrong?"

For a short, panicked moment, she thought perhaps _she_ had done something wrong. Will and Cecil had always been welcoming and warm towards her and the other ex-soldiers, but if even Will turned cold...

"It's nothing. Nothing new, anyway," he said, "I just hoped..." The he shook his head and straightened his back. He even had the nerve to flash her a smile, which didn't quite reach his eyes. "So, your very first meeting. And you are not dreading your decition to become head councelor?"

He surely couldn't believe she was so stupid? But she tested the water before diving in.

"Nah, no regrets. _I _sure won't bail on the next meeting, unlike someone."

Will's fake smile faded and he stopped walking. "What?"

Bullseye. She almost wanted to pad herself on the back. _Good girl, Lou. Brownies for dinner._

"There was an empty chair," Lou Ellen remarked. "Next to Percy. You and Annabeth were talking about it."

"Yeah, true." He rubbed his neck and frowned, clearly contemplaining how to continue the conversation. "We're one councelor short. He... _bailed_, as you said it. At least, no one has seen him since the day before yesterday. We assume he's took off."

Lou Ellen squinted her eyes. "Not someone from... from Kronos' side. I would know, I know all of them. And all the original cabins were represented. So a new camper?"

Something about her phracing made Will wince.

"What?"

"Not exactly new. Old, rather. He... he used to be a camper, a couple of years ago, but he ran away. Nico di Angelo, son of Hades. He is the only one in Cabin 13."

_Oh. _A memory slid over her, like the mist whenever she willed it to. Skeletons and cracks in the ground. A skull-shaped helmet and a black sword. A small son of Nike testing his skills against the undead.

Suddenly she was glad she hadn't been given the chance to be introduced to this son of Hades. She opened her mouth about to say just that, but then Will sighed.

"I hoped he'd stay this time. Guess he didn't feel welcomed."

There was something sad and tired in his eyes that Lou Ellen didn't like. Will had gone out of his way to make _everyone_ feel welcomed at camp. She realized just how much she appreciated that. If she could do anything to repay that, she would. For now, she supposed removing a bit of that hurt from the baby blues would be enough.

So she threw her arm over his shoulders, praying to her mother that they were good enough friends by now to do things like that.

"You know, I've been working on a hex to turn people into pigs. Specifically boys. You want in? If the ungrateful punk ever shows up again, you could take up sausage-making?"

That earned her a genuine laugh, and Will put his arm around her.

"Sure. Sounds great."

When they arrived at the dining pavillion, Lou Ellen did a quick head count of the campers at her table. Four. She huffed.

"Theo isn't here," Will remarked. "Is his arm still hurting? Maybe I should stop by afterwards to have a look at it again?"

Lou Ellen shook her head. "No, his arm is perfectly fine. He's just... Adapting. See you at the campfire."

She walked off before he could question her about her brother. There was no need to make him feel like his friendliness hadn't been sufficient for yet another camper.

Because Will definitely wasn't the problem, and neither were Cecil, who were waving at her from ther Hermes table, or Annabeth, or anyone she could really put a name to. The problem wasn't one specfic person. It was how the temperature shifted when she got closer to her table. How there was a collective mumbling and glances and whispers. A general feeling she couldn't really shake, not once during her brief three days as a regular camper.

A feeling that she shouldn't be here.

That she was still a traitor.

As she sat down and greeted her siblings, she could see that they felt the same. They were as tense now as they had been when they had arrived. It was so very visible in the way they sat slounched over the table, how they didn't look at the other campers. In the way they whispered and in the way they all shuffled off straight to their cabin after dinner. No matter how welcoming people were, there was still an unanswered question that followed them wherever they went.

_Can we trust you?_

As they passed the Hades Cabin, she thought that perhaps she knew why they were one councelor short.

Theo was lying in bed in his loft. Lou Ellen thought of it as _his _because even though there were two beds, he was the only occupant. She assumed he had gone out of his way to find the most secluded place in the cabin.

"We missed you at dinner."

Theo grunted. Briefly, she wondered if he'd accidentaly triggered her pig ball procjet.

"I didn't see you at lunch either."

Still on his back, he lifted his arm into the air and flipped her off. Okay, so he had not turned into a pig.

"Theo, you have to come out and socialize. I will force-feed you if I have to."

In response, he lifted his other arm for a double flip-off. She could feel the angerdriven adrenaline begin to buzz in her head.

"If you do not get out of that bed, I swear to the gods, I will personally drag you to the campfire tonight."

His hands stayed up.

It took a whole lot of self-control to take a deep breath and say "Great talk," before she turned to head down the stairs.

"Al would have hated this."

Lou stopped with her foot on the first step.

"What?"

"I said," Theo sat up in bed at glared at her. "Al would have _hated _this. He is better off not being here."

Downstairs, she could hear shuffeling and quiet whispers, but she didn't take her eyes off her brother.

"Explain," she said, and her jaw was so tense she could barely get the word out.

"It's a disgrace," Theo said, his words just as harsh as hers. "Us being here, us being alive, when we lost so many. Are we just going to forget that people died? Are we just going to forget that some of these _campers_," he rolled his eyes at the word, "might be responsible for killing them? They sure as Hades aren't going to forget that we were behind some of theirs dying. It is dishonoring. Our brothers and sisters, they died in _vain_." At the last word, his voice broke and his eyes fell.

For a moment, she thought it was Alabaster sitting in Theo's bed. The scene was too familiar. The words were to similar. Maybe, just maybe, they were right and she was wrong.

But then she thought of Will, hurt and tired. He had never made her feel like an enemy, not even when she was fresh from the battle field, dragged in by a panicked Cecil. He had done nothing but making her feel welcomed. And she pondered whether Cecil too would look like a kicked puppy if she decided enough was enough, and left. The thought straight up hurt.

Deep within her gut, she felt her stubbornness snap something into place. She would never leave. She would never run away. This was her, their, home now. And gods dammit, she was going to claim it as such. They had _earned it._

"Don't you dare," she growled, "don't you ever again dare to say they died in vain. They didn't." Lou Ellen looked down the stairs to the small group of siblings staring up at her. With a throw of her head, she commanded them to come up. As she strode over to Theo's bed, she could hear them climb the stairs behind her.

She stood and stared at Theo, who kept his gaze on his knees.

"Have you forgotten what we were fighting for? This. We were fighting for _this_." She gestured around her. "For our mother's honor. For a home. For safety for those of us who would survive."

"But Kronos-"

"I give jack shit about Kronos!" Lou Ellen turned to look at the others. "Did you? Did any of you care about the politics? No! You do not care what the name of the president is, you care about what he stands for! The olympians gave us what we wanted, and that is enough for me."

When she looked back to Theo, he was staring at her, but the anger was gone from his eyes. Now, they were just wet and shiny.

Lou Ellen closed her eyes, and pulled the mist towards her. It formed around her memories. Smiling faces from happy times she never wanted to forget. When she opened her eyes, she had formed them in grey mist between her hands. They smiled up at her, their features floating and dancing. Her eyes started to sting.

"We won't ever forget them, for they did not die in vain. We got what we wanted. We proved that we were willing to fight for it."

The others gathered around her, even Theo rose from his bed to look down at the small replicas of their lost family.

"They say we lost, but we won. We won our rights. This camp is our right now. It is our right to stay here and to call this our home. Maybe we have to keep proving that we are worthy of it, but never doubt that we are. It is the only way we can honor our fallen brothers and sisters. If we deny ourselves from this joy, only then have they truly died in vain."

Theo's hand felt sudden and heavy on her shoulder and she looked up at him. His eyes was still on the forming mist between her hands, but he nodded to himself.

"Okay, Lou" he whispered. "I understand."

As they reached the campfire that night, Lou Ellen nodded to her siblings and did a vague gesture. The order was clear to them.

_Spread out._

She watched as they split up. They found available spots around the fire, asking politely if they could sit. A sense of pride filled her chest as she saw Theo apporach Butch, point to the seat next to him on the bench and sit down. Maybe it had been her own imagination that Butch had seemed cold towards her, because she couldn't see any sign of discomfort as the two struck up a conversation.

Will and Cecil shuffled on their bench to make room for her between them.

"Hey, girl," Cecil grinned and offered her a stick and a bag of marshmallows, which she took greedily. "Will told me you survived your first councelor meeting today. I hope my brothers went easy on you. You know, they are itching to pull a prank on your cabin, but I told them to give you another week to settle in."

"I would be prepared, though," Will adviced. "I doubt they can hold a whole week. Just look at them whispering. They are totally plotting."

Lou Ellen looked over to where the brothers were sitting with their heads together, whispering and snickering. She made sure to get eye contact with them, then she spidded two marshmallows on her stick and winked. Their eyebrows shot up and she could practically hear them swallowing.

"That is okay," she said. "I am no coward. I am not going anywhere."


	3. Kids In The Dark

_Here we are at the top of the hill_

_A hill that's quietly crumbling_

_Been a while since you dressed for the kill_

_The kill that sent me tumbling_

_Looking up, I see a falling star_

_And watch its fire burn into the floor_

_And I am left standing on the edge_

_Wondering why we fall so hard, why we fall so hard_

-All Time Low

Lou Ellen lifted the last of the bags out of the van and handed it to one of her younger brothers. He whinced as he grabbed it, but hoisted it onto his back.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry it for you? Your arm hasn't healed yet."

But he shook his head and mumbled something under his breath before he shuffled off.

She watched him warily as he joined the others, before she picked up her own small shoulder bag and walked around the van.

Alabaster was leaning against the hood, waiting for her with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"Theo should let his arm rest," he said and nodded towards their brother. "Make sure someone from the Apollo cabin has a look at it, would you?"

"I know just the guy," Lou Ellen said. Alabaster huffed, but didn't say anything. They both knew that if they picked up that discussion again, they would end up arguing, and Lou Ellen would prefer to avoid that for once.

There had been too many harsh words the past month, ever since Manhattan. Ever since she was wounded, and Cecil found her and took her to their makeshift infermary. Ever since they lost and she voted for a truce. Ever since she was chosen to represent the children of Hecate when Alabaster was deamed "too influental, too corrupted".

Ever since they realized they would never come to an agreement. And now, there was no time left to do any more attempts. They would just have to agree to disagree.

Her throat tightened.

"You'll IM us, right?" she asked. "Keep us updated on how you are doing?"

Alabaster glared at his shoes.

"You know I can't."

"We could write?"

"Lou…"

"Just an adress, so I can visit?"

"Stop!"

Even the other kids stopped talking and looked up. One reassuring nod from Alabaster, and they all turned their attention back to their quiet conversation. It made her sigh.

"They will never trust me like they trust you," Lou Ellen whispered, and regretted it just as she said it. It was a thought that had kept her awake for weeks, but speaking it out loud made it so much more true. As a child of Hecate, she was very aware of the power words held.

"Give them time," Alabaster said softly, without any sign of malice. "You were second in command, everyone knows you are a great leader. They are just worried about what awaits them at camp. Most of them have never even been here, they were left alone in the dark to fend for themselves."

The phracing made Lou Ellen frown.

"Al?"

"You have spark, Lou. That is why you are a leader. You light up that same spark in others." He stood and tapped his thighs. "I actually have something for you. Hold on."

He opened the door on the driver's side and Lou Ellen could hear him search for something in his backpack. When he came back around, he was holding an unlit torch.

"I know you love puns, Lou. So…" Alabaster coughed, just loud enough to get their siblings attention.

"Lou Ellen, I am handing over the torch to you."

She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as Alabaster took her hand in his and placed it around the wood. "I trust you. I trust you will look after our brothers and sisters. And…" he stared at her, his green eyes serious and steely, "I trust you will honor those we have lost."

She made sure not to blink as she nodded. "I will."

Finally, Alabaster looked away. He made an honorable attempt to smile as he held out his arms towards the others.

"One last hug before I am off, guys?"

The way he said it made it sound like he was just off on holiday, but it didn't fool anyone. Lou Ellen stepped back and watched as every single one of her siblings hugged him and then tried to dry away the tears from their cheeks. Alabaster whispered friendly messages and made sure every rib got properly fractured. When everyone else had said their goodbyes, Lou Ellen threw her arms around him and tried to achieve some kind of closure by hugging the last of her feelings out of her body. He whispered one last command to her, too low for anyone else to hear.

"Do not forget anyone, got it? Dead or alive."

Then he gently pushed her away, and without making eyecontact with anyone, he went straight for the van.

They watched as it disapeared in the dark. When the fainth sound of the engine got swallowed by the wind in the trees, Lou Ellen drew a couple of deep breaths. Her throat was still tight and her eyes stung, but her cheeks were dry. Once she spoke, she was content to hear that her voice was steady and light.

"Okay then. Off we go."

She spoke an incantation and the torch lit up with a bright, orange flame.

Her siblings picked up their bags and backpacks. Two of them kept their arms around each other and sniffed. Then they followed as she led the way down the hill.


	4. Mineshaft

_The list of things I used to be is longer than the list of things I am_

_Ex-lover, ex-friend_

_Ex-communicated atheist and an ex-patriot_

_Living in the heartland_

_Living on the small chance_

_Luck would save the last dance_

-Dessa

There were no clouds to hide the stars, but the thin cresent moon didn't give her much light. It didn't matter, though. The torch in her hand burned as bightly as it had that night she had lead her siblings to camp a year and a half ago. It felt right to light it up again tonight. As if she was leading more brothers and sisters home. It gave her a flash of deja-vu, a feeling that she should know what was to happen next.

Lou Ellen had assumed the campfire would be cold coal and stubborn everlasting embers, but it burned as strong and warm as it had when they had left it earlier that night. Her own torch suddenly seemed small next to it, and with just a flick of her hand and a commanding word, it went out.

The fire invited her forward and reminded her of a home she had once had, but lost, and of people who should have been here with her, but who too had been lost.

People she thought about every day, but it wasn't until tonight that she dared ask about them. She was afraid of what answers she might get. With the Grove of Dodona close by, asking questions didn't feel too safe, even with the chimes she knew played an improvised melody of prophecies. It had basically kidnapped Cecil earlier this year, and ever since, she had hosted what she believed was a healthy scepticism towards it.

But she had come to discover other ways to ask. She felt ready now, with Mirandas words still echoing in her head and beconing her forward.

Lou Ellen reached out her hand over the hot flames. It stang, but then words emerged on the back of her hand, written in glowing cursive of embers. The burning sensation stopped, and she lowered her hand further before closing her eyes. She started chanting a long verse in ancient Greek. A command and a plea, for her mother Hecate, the carrier of the torches. For Hestia, who tended the flame sometimes used as a funeral pyre. For Hades, who kept the souls who had lived for a moment and stayed dead for eternity.

She could feel the currents of the mist around her, curiously attracted to the strong magic. Her hands felt prickly and heavy with it. Time became as flowing and fleeting as water and mist. Had she finished her verse and started all over again? Or had she just begun? In her chest, she felt a tug. A summoning. Like pulling on a rope that dissapeared into the darkness of a well, waiting to see the dim outline of the bucket in the depths.

A noise behind her made her jump and she broke off her chanting. She turned, the magic she had summoned still stirring in her hands and chest.

At first, she thought the intruder was a stranger. The mist tightened around her, shaping her apperance to make her look more terryfying - tall, fit, strong, and with a glow in her eyes that once had made enemies cringe as she stared them down.

Then, he spoke.

"Nice trick, Lou, but you do not fool me. Those pink sweatpants are not exactly frightening. Your behind litterally says CUTIE."

"Nico?" Even to her own ears, her voice was unfamiliar and deep, a husky growl. She allowed the mist to drift away from her like cold waves.

It was no surprise that she hadn't recognized him. Underneath the usual black bomber jacket, he wore an over-sized orange tee and a pair of grey plated pyjamas pants. The back of his hair stuck out in an odd angle, as if he had gone to bed with wet hair and forgot to brush it. In the dim and flickering light, he looked like a bad charicature of himself. Almost a perfect replica, but slightly off.

In an attempt to regain controll of the situation, she put on her best smirk, the one that would be worthy of a child of Hermes.

"You are the one to talk. Are you testing out a new look? I must say, it does not suit you."

"Very funny," he huffed. "Your spell woke me up."

That took her off guard.

"It… did?" Then he knew what she had attempted?

He shrugged and walked up to her to stand by the fire.

"What did you expect? You wanted information about the dead, didn't you? Well, here I am."

When she didn't react, he rubbed his eyes, before explaining with a softer voice.

"You asked for a way to find out what happened to the souls of the dead demigods who fought under Kronos. I suppose it worked. It woke me up and pulled me here. You can talk to me."

It wasn't that she hadn't considered it. Ever since Nico had returned last summer, the question had simmered in the surface of her mind every time he was around. It was something about his aura that made memories of her dead siblings more vivid. If she sat next to him by the campfire before bedtime, she would dream of them. Usually, she would dream of things that made her happy. She would remember their smiles. The little quirks and ticks. Whole conversations they once had.

Sometimes, though, she would have nightmares. A distant cry for help deep down under gravel and bricks. The weight of a sister wrapped in a shawl, whom she had carried to the funeral pyre last summer. And worse, so much worse, screams from down below the earth, beyond her reach.

Maybe she was a masochist, but she often tried to stay close to Nico before bed. There were so many she hadn't been able to save. The least she could do was to dream about them and keep their memory alive.

Lou Ellen stared into the flames.

"Miranda said some things today. It made me think," she said, feeling she had to explain why she was here only now. "Things got a bit… heated. She said she was sorry, she really was, but a lot of it was true. Me, my brothers and sisters, we did fight on the losing side. We fought you. We fought to kill."

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. In contrast to the dancing light of the flames, were shaddows that lingered and clinged to him wherever they could find refuge. It made his face seem hollow, and reminded her of the skull shaped helmet he had worn when she first saw him. When he was just another nameless demigod to attack and preferably wound.

"I would have killed you, given the chance. If i couldn't wound you, I would rather see you dead than alive."

Nico nodded.

"Likewise."

"What would Hades do to me, if I had slaughtered his only child. Even if it was to stop you from killing one of my friends or siblings." It wasn't a question, and they both knew. Instead, they watched the flames flicker and embers rise from the fire.

Right here, a year ago, she had seen the remaints of her sister been devoured by warm fire. Had she been redeamed? Lou Ellen remembered how she had cried every night for a month after Manhattan, because she had killed an other demigod. After they came to camp, she had found out who he was. She had devoted so much time to find out everything about the unclaimed boy from the Hermes cabin, she began mumbeling his name in her sleep. When the Romans surrounded camp, she'd taken to scream it, until Will made Lou Ellen cook a sleeping potion that would make her sleep without dreams.

Did she ever meet him in the underworld? Had she been given the possibility to tell him how sorry she was? Had he forgiven her?

"I will see what I can do for them," Nico evetually said, his eyes still on the fire. "Spring is coming. Hades is not very… diplomatic in spring. But I will do what I can."

Her eyes stung, and she was pretty sure it wasn't from campfire smoke.

"Nico?"

"They have not gone to the fields of punishment. Their souls partly belong to Aries, as they are victims of war on the losing side. He would not want his souls to be tortured. It would make them too weak to fight. Maybe I can have them reincarnated, if Aries and Hades would allow it."

Her breath felt shaky, and she hurried to summon the mist to her. It caressed Lou Ellen's cheeks with cold touches, hiding her tears and the sound of her sobs. If Nico knew, he didn't say anything, but let her have the silence to herself.

After a couple of minutes, the tears stopped running and though her throat still felt thick and tight and her eyes still stung, she allowed the mist to drift away.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice hoarce and raspy.

"It is the least I ca-"

She embrazed him and squeezed him tight, allowing him to take his time to relax. It took five heartbeats for him to hug her back, and she didn't let go until she had counted another seven. He didn't look directly at her, but scratched his nose awkwardly.

"You should probably try to get some sleep, Lou. I'll talk to Chiron in the morning about leaving for the Underworld for a few days."

"Yeah," she said, smiling tiredly, and turned to go. When he didn't follow, she stopped and looked back at him.

"You not coming?"

He shrugged.

"There are other friends I want to talk to now that I am here anyway. Just go ahead." Nico sat down by the fire. "See you tomorrow."

"Okay." She looked around, but there were no one else but them. But she supposed Nico knew more about presents in the darkness than she did. "I manipulated the mist to fool the harpies, but it probably won't last for more than an hour. Try not to get eaten, di Angelo." After a few steps, she stopped again and grinned at Nico. "Oh, and Nico, by the way. I totally recognize the smell of Will's deodorant on that shirt."

"Oh, shut up, Blackstone," was his only comment, but as she walked back to the cabin, she was sure she could hear Nico talk to himself by the hearthfire.

That night, Lou Ellen dreamt of her siblings, even more vividly than she had ever done before. She dreamt of joyful memories, things that had happened long ago. When she woke the next morning, the memories still lingered in her mind.


End file.
